the lovers are losing

Dear heart,

I just wanted to apologize for the pain I've put you through. I know that you're not deserving of such injury. You see, when I put you out there I did not expect you to be stomped all over. Please know that these were not my intentions. I was expecting a soft welcome, and and gentle warmth to overwhelm you. I wasn't informed that a heap of sensory would be dumped over myself leaving me motionless. I tried to get away from this curse, to try and stop you from being so badly beat down but I was sucked in. Please know that It wasn't planned for me to even set you out. I had told myself months before that I was going to keep you safe but something took over me. Something I can't even bring myself to illustrate. It's over now, I promise you this.  I am ashamed to even look at the reflect I have to face everyday. What was I thinking? I don't even know if I knew myself at the time. But don't worry, it won't happen again. Let me assure you that I will not, put you out there to be hurt, again. 

My deepest apologies,

Niki

P.S- this must be what I get for giving things another chance when I knew nothing good could come from it.