shut up and let me go

I wish you could see the pain you're putting her through
You think everything you say just goes through one ear and out the other
Becuase that's how you seem to always react to things
The rest of us have to put up with everything you hand to us
Your lies, excuses, and misplaced thoughts
You can't always depend on her because she wont always be around
You'll fall and break, and when you get back up, dust yourself off
And turn around to see here there with arms wide open
You'll be suprised because she won't be there at all
She'll be fed up, and she already is
She just can't pull herself toghether to tell you
Just give it time
She'll gain the strength to knock you off your feet.

it's just like you to come and go

just tell your story walking.

I don't want to hear your story about why you left.

I don't need to hear thoes lies

I'm not satisfied with how we left things

But at least we said our goodbyes.

I'm not going to sit here and listen

To you talk about mistakes

Because when I think of what you did

It's like my whole heart aches.

I don't need your apologies anymore

I can tell when you don't mean it

It's the fact that you did something wrong

It's the fact that its been one too many times that I've seen it.

I've seen the anger in your eyes

When I do something that makes you mad

But what you don't know is I get that everytime we're even around eachother

and that's what's really sad.

So save your excuses for someone else

Someone who's naive enough to care

But i'm not sticking around for any longer

It's just too much to bear.

crash and burn

"Most people lie because they’re afraid other people are going to find out who they are before they find it out for themselves."

(One Tree Hill)

maybe tomorrow I'll find my way home

I've lost everything because I lost you.

self respect

hope

faith

sense of direction

logic

passion

and the ability to let anyone in again.

I'm not asking for you to run back to me and tell me it was a mistake.
I'm asking for my heart back.
You took it with such force.
You tore it out and shatterd it into peices, and left me here to make it whole again.
You were nothing but selfish, and I'm suprised I didn't see it any sooner.

I'm suprised I couldn't read the signs that were so obviously pointed out to me.

So come back not to tell me you need me

but to tell me I was right when I told you

"you'll always love her more then me."

this one's for you.

People Will Always Try To Change You

don't let them.

cried all night till there was nothing more.

the voice inside my head is telling me

to run and never look back

but my hearts desire is telling me

I'll be taking the wrong track

the voice inside my head is telling me

that what we did was wrong

but my hearts desire is telling me

that this is where we belong

the voice inside my head is telling me

forget what happend and move on

but my hearts desire is telling me

everything will change for the worse when he's gone

the voice inside my head is telling me

that you brought the worst out in me

but my hearts desire is telling me

it's the only time I felt free

the voice inside my head is telling me

that what we had was untrue

but my hearts desire is telling me

that I love you.

Nobody Understands

Can't cool off you're on fire.
No cold tears going put you out,out out.
You're awake, in love, you're wired.
Kiss her goodnight now you walk by yourself.
You're so confused cause they told you
"Becareful you know she's a mess, and she is a bad situation
oh that girl is always depressed"
It's something you feel, they can't see it
She is the warmth that ignites
What you got inside, what you just can't hide.

The way you love her, Nobody Understands.

The way you feel her, Oh It's Above Their Heads.

The way you bleed her, Oh Nobody Understands Her Boy

Nobody Understands.

You're awake and you're on fire
Burning up with how you feel.
Well she's a freak, and she's a liar.
But you're in love with the girl she's concealed.
Oh you're so confused 'cause they told you

"Her father was bad, he was messed. And she is a bad situation;

Oh that girl is always depressed."

So where do you go when theirs no one, when no one believes in your love?
Though it all shines out when you kiss her mouth.

there there baby it's just textbook stuff. It's in the ABC of growing up.

I remember clearly when I was younger,that I didn't believe in the tooth fairy. I knew exactly what my mom was doing in the mornings when she would distract me then casualy ask me to look under my pillow and find that shiny coin, the coin that would brighten up the rest of my day. It's like It was almost a comforting lie. It was something I could always count on, even though I knew no part of it was ever sincre. We grew up believing in our parents lies, simply to protect us. They taught us that the stove was evil so we wouldn't burn ourselves. They told us that if you we didn't stop crying a monster would come and get you. They told us that Santa could always see what we were doing, so we should always be on our best behaviour. They taught us valuable,basic life lessons. They never taught us how to trust though. That was something we had to learn all on our own. How to let someone in and learn to keep them there. To have a stable person in your life that you could go to in a time of crisis or in a time of fun. To trust someone is possibly one of the hardest things you can learn to do. For some letting someone in is second nature, simple.

But for others letting someone into your life and showing them who you truly are can be the most ambitious, delicate thing a person has to go through. And once you do it you realize that your parents actually did prepare you for what trust brings. Because with trust you also recive lies. Lies to break you and lies to protect you. For some reason the moment you gain someones commitment they find some way to break it, some way to ruin everything you gained. More or less this is broken by lies. And most of the time we know that it's happening, we know we're being lied to. But we don't even do anything about it. We sit back and let the comfort of our knowledge soak in, and then let ourselves break down. We've become so immune to false information being handed to us that we can't even tell the diffrence anymore. We tell ourselves that this isn't true,that this can't be true. We have to be able to tell the diffrence between fact and fiction because if we can't how else can we manage ourselves? We tell ourselves it can't be possible. We then become the liars.

one wish

"You know I could've held you in my arms forever? It still wouldn't have been long enough"

(One Tree Hill)

i won't be your memory

I thought i saw your face today

You moved right on,

acting like you didn't care

You dodged our realtionship

Like it wasn't there.

Careless whispers in my ear

Night after night

But lately the way you had been acting,

Just didn't feel right.

So I let you figure this one out

I didn't stand in your way

But 'I'll love you forever'

Is all you had to say

You didn't say what I wanted

You left me crushed on the floor

But strangely I couldn't help but

Need you even more.

If I could i'd only wanna make you smile

I keep thinking I need to be alone, that I need time to process it all. I keep thinking that it's so upsetting that she's the one person who has stayed true. But then I remind myslef that I'm overreacting, that the only people that have been honest with me, the few that have, are the only ones that I should be worried about, and they don't even give me any worry. Their the ones who take my worry and make it disolve. They take my pain and throw it away. They're the ones that know me the best. Their the ones I'll eternialy be in debt to. Their the ones I love.

no promises kept

"I've spent so much time thinking about all the answers to the problem, that I forget what the problem actually was. "

(Elizabethtown)

these wounds are self-inflicted

My grip is starting to loosen around your heart

It's slipping it's slipping

I'm falling apart.

the sands in the hour glass are running out

Game over, game over

No more room for doubt.

Our laughter is fading into the past

I'm breaking, I'm breaking

Why can't this last?

We're taking one last look, and waving goodbye

It's over,it's over

and I'll never know why.

where your gardens, have no walls

it was perfect timing, when you came

because it was just when I started missing you

you came without warning and chose to stay

we decided to forget everything we knew

we rememberd the days that had past

how much we laughed and cried.

we realized we needed eachothers friendship

diffrences aside.

we became closer day by day

and now we're hardly apart

I'm really glad we could go back again

we got a brand new start.

so don't leave my side again

I don't think I could handel the pain

lets never let that happen to us

never,ever again.

there are certain people, you just keep coming back to

We have too many moments where it feels like nothing can get better. Thoes moments where it feels like everything is still. Moments of perfections. Moments where I know that you'll always be my best friend.

I'll love you no matter how far you are

soon you will know

The thing I hate the most is a hipocrit.

I've seen you grow into one, day by day.
You don't even notice it, but everyone else does.
I know if I did what you were doing you'd call me out on it, and get mad at me.
For some reason I can't pull myself toghether and just tell you how you've been hurting me.
It's killing me, but I have to hold it in.
Hopefully you'll realize it on your own; soon.
Hopefully it won't be too late

"When people think you're dying, they really, really listen to you, instead of just waiting for their turn to speak"

(Fight Club)

i did everything for you

Friends change like seasons. one minute the most powerful friendship you think you've ever had can be destroyed into nothing but tears and regret. Slowly the fear of ever starting a new friendship takes over you. What if you get too close again,but then find yourself drifting apart? What if they realize that you're not the person they thought you were? So much of our times are spent with friends. Time we don't even realize we're spending. Constantly we are by our friends sides. Talking, laughing, bickering. We share things with eachother, we hide things from one another. Most of our days are taken up with a friend. The risk of losing someone so close to you, is frightening. It's terrifying knowing that in one easy minute this person could be out of your life forever. But you realize that thoes who leave you, thoes who change for the worse, thoes who decied to give up when things get hard were never really your friends. They never were the ones who were by your side because right at that moment-when you lost them- you needed them the most. And realizing that they were never actually your friend, is what hurts the most.

time,where did you go?

hello days of science and my winter fleece
byebye days of laughter and peace
hello days of a timed run
byebye days of smiles and sun
hello days of penicls and pens
byebye days of being with friends
hello days of ongoing tests
byebye days of afternoon rests
hello days of hardwork and stress
byebye to my summer dress
hello days of being late
byebye to summer oh eight.