it's about time

gaining you was like a blind person seeing for the first time. everything in that one moment was clear. all my concerns, worries, and deep distress was quickly replaced with the feeling of deep present joy. i knew then that i would love you forever. but then watching you fall away from me, watching you fall in love with someone else, watching you slip, was like a gun shot. the bullet hit me without warning and destroyed everything. it killed me. i wanted to be picked up by you, held by you, loved by you once more. i knew you felt the same way though your stubbornness got in the way. who was she? i thought i needed to know but it was obvious that it wasn't important. just someone there to keep you busy while we were on our separate tracks. but why still be with her when our tracks have now linked? loosing you for the first time was like a person with perfect vision suddenly becoming blind. everything in that one moment was false, because even though i knew you still loved me, you just couldn't admit it. we're all afraid of getting hurt, of becoming lost. we don't know what's ahead of us or what will happen to us if we take a risk. but if we decided to stand still and not take chances then we ourselves are gambling with our happiness. we can't always be wondering 'what if' . to find out what lies ahead of us we must gain the strength to go see for ourselves. i wish i had said those exact words to you that day instead of just standing there, speechless. maybe then things would be different, then again, maybe they'd be exactly the same.