the bolder thing to do

I try my best to see that this is wrong.

I keep telling myself that I can't go on with this constant lie

this knowledge that what I'm doing, should be stopped.

But I can't bring myself to end this ongoing struggle to grasp you

to look you in the eye and fully know that this is what it's always going to be. 

I need to find something that'll help me escape this nightmare and step back into reality.

Tracing back to before you, I can tell that things weren't that different. 

It's not a new you, it's the old me bending over backwards to try and find a untried self.

But I won't admit it.

I wouldn't be able to stand knowing that it's all honestly, my fault.

This pain, this discomfort, this grief is inflicted by myself.

Although we both chose to find each other, I'm the one who keeps fighting for it.

You sit silently in the corner watching me make every effort to keep us alive.

I can't stop this constant exert for you because I'm scared to know what else is out there.

You're all I've ever known

And maybe that's why I'm stuck in this ill-treated love, it's all I've ever been taught.